You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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