I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That accounts for only three of the penises
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
