im about as happy as oj after his trial
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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