Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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