I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
