I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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