So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
