Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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