I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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