He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
