if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
