i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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