nut hugger
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
