I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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