Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
