How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
