i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
