I puked a lego.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
