my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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