I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
