Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
