I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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