If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
