Barsexuality is the new black.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
