Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
this just has baby written all over it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
