Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
