butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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