Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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