the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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