Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
