he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
