Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
