dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
