I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
