No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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