Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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