dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
