I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
