Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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