You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
