ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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