Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
