thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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