Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
