Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im holly from the hills drunk
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
