How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
wow bdsm is so cute
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