You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
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He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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