I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
