ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
