I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
