dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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