I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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