end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
