the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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