considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
