love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
