I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
