you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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