he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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