level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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