Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
