My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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