I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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