you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
