so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
