If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
