i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
